Happy New Year, everyone, and good wishes for lots of great flying in 2019. We'll be at home tonight, bringing the furry brats in early before the "celebratory" insanity begins. Our neighborhood literally sounds like a warzone as midnight approaches, with copious idiots thinking random gunfire is a great way to ring in the New Year. Unfortunately, because the police in Tucson do nothing about it, it goes on unchecked, and our only hope for a reprieve from the lunacy, is if the weather is so bad it keeps people indoors. Anyway, several years ago, I wrote the following parody in response to the foolishness.
It’s The Most Moronic Night of the Year
(Parody of “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”)
It’s the most Moronic Night of the Year,
Leave the kids at the sitter,
Check the feed on your Twitter,
To see who has the beer!
It’s the most Moronic Night of the Year!
It’s a con-venient night for a bash!
With the heavy binge drinking
And everyone thinking
That no one will crash.
It’s a con-venient night for a bash!
There’ll be much empty boasting,
Full glasses for toasting,
And mistakes you shouldn’t repeat.
There’ll be moments unnerving
With drivers a-swerving
From side to side along the street!
It’s the most Moronic Night of the Year,
There’ll be gunfire ringing,
As though someone were bringing,
A battle zone near,
It’s the most Moronic Night of the Year!
Good sense will lie static
Like books in the attic,
When partying shuts down the brain.
And without even thinking,
From excessive drinking,
Some lives will be flushed down the drain.
It's the best night of the year to stay home,
When the bullets are flying
And drunk drivers trying
To steer as they roam,
It's the best night of the year to stay home!
It’s the most Moronic Night of the Year,
Please use moderation
For intoxication
Is not needed for cheer,
On this most Moronic Night,
It’s the most Moronic Night,
On this most Moronic Night of the Year!
It’s The Most Moronic Night of the Year
(Parody of “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year”)
It’s the most Moronic Night of the Year,
Leave the kids at the sitter,
Check the feed on your Twitter,
To see who has the beer!
It’s the most Moronic Night of the Year!
It’s a con-venient night for a bash!
With the heavy binge drinking
And everyone thinking
That no one will crash.
It’s a con-venient night for a bash!
There’ll be much empty boasting,
Full glasses for toasting,
And mistakes you shouldn’t repeat.
There’ll be moments unnerving
With drivers a-swerving
From side to side along the street!
It’s the most Moronic Night of the Year,
There’ll be gunfire ringing,
As though someone were bringing,
A battle zone near,
It’s the most Moronic Night of the Year!
Good sense will lie static
Like books in the attic,
When partying shuts down the brain.
And without even thinking,
From excessive drinking,
Some lives will be flushed down the drain.
It's the best night of the year to stay home,
When the bullets are flying
And drunk drivers trying
To steer as they roam,
It's the best night of the year to stay home!
It’s the most Moronic Night of the Year,
Please use moderation
For intoxication
Is not needed for cheer,
On this most Moronic Night,
It’s the most Moronic Night,
On this most Moronic Night of the Year!